I'll Take Romance

"Rob," I told my 19 year old son, "I just did something I haven't done in 29 years and eleven months. Without missing a beat Rob declared, "you went on a date." I asked the kids if they were okay with this. They just looked at me, amused. Their expressions were clear: it's about time.
"After all," said 16 year old Lucey, "we're all grown up now."
So, maybe I waited longer than I should have, thinking my kids weren't ready. Heck with that, I wasn't ready. Some people are good at multi-tasking. I just couldn't see raising 5 children and dating. Something wrong with that picture, I thought.
But still, it wasn't wasted time. I got into reading the Bible and praying and meditating, got much closer to the Lord, so much so that I've learned to praise Him in every situation, and be grateful for all His blessings.
Now, in the back of my mind there's this mental countdown to next August when Lucey, at 16, goes off to college and I'm all alone with the cats. Most days, I come home to an empty house now, anyway, as my two remaining teenagers are busy with their own lives.
Unfortunately, that first date turned into a stalker. I actually had to call the police, change my phone number and block him from my email. And it was my own fault; the Lord had said "no" quite clearly. The next time, I asked Him first. Much better approach.
I'm going on a second date next week, with someone of whom the Lord approves. More later.

May and June

Maggie graduated from St. John's on May 17th, with thousands of spectators. Wonderful, moving speech by Immaculee Ilibagiza from Rwanda. Maggie loaned me her book, LEFT TO TELL, amazing story. I sat with the family & Clare Scott's family. Lauren joined us and shared her news; she's joining a religious order in Michigan, just glowing with joy. I've got to know so many of Maggie's friends, extraordinary group of talented people.
The graduation itself was filmed as background for a new movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. Maggie had signed up to play an extra in the film the next day, forgetting she had a road trip planned to Cape Cod/Maine with friends. So she gave her spot to Robby. Robby showed up the next day, with Maggie's number. The casting coordinator looked up, puzzled: "You're Maggie Snyder?" she queried, reasonably, since Robby with full beard looks nothing like his sister. "No," he responded politely, "but I already have my costume," and he held up the graduation robe. They accepted him on the spot.
Robby's graduation, on June 27th was typical for our upriver hamlet-on-the-Delaware. About 60 kids graduated on the front lawn with parents and friends in attendance, accompanied by members of the jr high band, and a few high schoolers, like Rob's sister Lucey, now the only one of my children still attending Eldred High School. Robby did well, completed a Regents diploma and received two good-sized local scholarships. Notably, half the class, including Robby, will be atttending OCCC; a sure sign of the economic downturn.
Afterwards, we celebrated at home, with cakes for Rob Sr. and Elizabeth's 26th birthday, plus Robby's graduation cake, with a shower of presents for all three celebrants.

To The Wedding

Elizabeth, my oldest child, and her fiancee, John, are wonderful organizers. They both worked hard and saved up to buy a co-op apartment in a nice section of Queens. Next, they saved up to pay for their wedding. They've been renovating the apartment and it looks lovely. In two weeks, they will marry, in a civil ceremony attended by 60 of their closest family and friends.

Still, my heart aches for this lovely young woman who refuses to consider or even acknowledge the wisdom of establishing any kind of relationship with Jesus Christ.

When she was fifteen years old, she announced she was moving in with her father down in Long Island. She no longer wished to attend church, and told me she was tired of the whole thing. In living with her father, she seemed to take on his values, those of the world.

She saw nothing wrong with moving in with her boyfriend and having sex outside of marriage. After all, her father was having an affair, so it must be all right.

"I'm not hurting anybody," was her defense.

Then, when she and John were ready to get married, she asked about our traditions.

"Getting married before a priest, in a Roman Catholic church," I answered.

"I'll ask Grandma," she said, shortly.

"Oh, we're Catholics, so it is our tradition to marry in a church ceremony, before a priest," Grandma told her.

Elizabeth didn't like those answers, so she ignored them.

"We're going to have an "officient," she told us.

Always efficient, she typed up a detailed list of what would happen during the civil ceremony.

The officient would use words like "sacred vows," and we their friends and family would form a "community of love," to support them. They would ensure the longevity of their marriage through human endeavor, ignoring the 70% divorce rate of couples who live together before marriage.

Maggie would be allowed to recite "Love is patient," from Corinthians, but only verses 4-8, which do not mention God.

Grandma would be allowed to sing the refrain from a nuptial blessing, but not permitted to ask others to join in, lest they feel uncomfortable at the mere mention of the Almighty.

We are all praying hard for Elizabeth and John, that their hearts may be opened to the Lord.

Not hurting anyone?

This is my firstborn; ever since I first held her in my arms, I have been thanking the Lord for her existence.

She is my joy, the light of my life, my heart.

And it is breaking, to know the burden she carries, blinded by pride, anger and hurt.

I would do anything to lift that burden from her, but she will not hear of it.

She refuses the Lord, and insists she can do everything on her own.

God, help her.

Help them.

Amen.

Sub-Zero Blessings

For years we have prayed over everything in the house, and it has really paid off; every single thing in the house has lasted much longer than usual. Including the oil-burning furnace.
Mid-January 2009: the Northeast experienced record-breaking sub-zero temperatures.
The sub-station iced over and power went out in our area last Thursday night.
I could feel the chill creeping into my bones as the thermometer plunged lower and lower.
I remember thinking helplessly of the nice new generator in our cellar.
Couldn't afford to hire someone to install it, so it sat there.
Next morning when the power finally came back on (God bless those NYSEG workers who came on duty at 2:00 a.m. !) I hurried downstairs to the cellar, plugged in a radiating heater to keep the pipes from freezing, and pushed the reset button on the oil burner which supplies our heat and hot water.
Nothing happened.
I prayed, checked the water levels in the feeder, tightened the hoses and tried again.
Again, nothing.
I called the plumber, left a message, plugged in some electric heaters and waved my two remaining teenagers off to school.
I worked at home Friday morning, so I went in my tiny office which has an electric baseboard heater and tried to work, waiting for the plumber to call back.
By the time the kids came home from school, he still hadn't called and the house was literally freezing as the temp dropped down to minus 11. Thick ice piled up on the windows, inside.
I called friends who were supposed to come to dinner & told them we would have to cancel.
They insisted on inviting us over for the weekend, so we packed and left for their cozy home, half an hour away.
I spent much of the weekend calling plumbers. Quite a few people were without heat we found out, when I finally reached our plumber Monday afternoon. "I can maybe get to you the end of next week," was his curt response, and he abruptly hung up.
Meanwhile we had been snowed in at our friends house all weekend; we even missed Sunday Mass. We did have a lovely visit with them, and their six wonderfully charming kids.
When we came back home Monday morning, I pulled into the neighbor's drive so we could dig out our own driveway. Larry came over to help; we do have such nice next-door neighbors!
The new plumber never came; when we finally reached him that night, he apologized and promised to get to us the next day.
He did finally arrive Wednesday afternoon, only to inform me that the oil-burner was shot, and a new one would cost about $5,000.
I couldn't help it; I started crying. I was so tired of working all the time and being really, really cold. I felt like I couldn't think straight, and I was moving in slow motion. Everything I did seemed to take forever. We were constantly boiling water for cooking and baths and everything we touched was very cold. I didn't bother to take off my coat, knit gloves and snow boots when I came into the house, just wore them until it was time for bed.
Six days later we're still cold, but the kids are tired of staying at other people's houses and said they'll just tough it out here with me. My friends suggested getting an electric hot water heater and baseboard heaters. Actually, what David said was "I'm going to buy them and you can pay me back whenever." The new plumber is going to try and patch up the old oil-burner to keep it going, maybe tomorrow he'll come back with some used parts. My tax refund should come in next month, so I might be able to buy a coal stove also. In the meantime, we're just counting our blessings:
Friends are offering to bring us wood, since we burned up all we had. People are praying for us, even the plumber. We have electricity, and (cold) running water, the pipes haven't frozen, the kids are just plain being wonderfully understanding and patient and kind to each other.
Praise God.