Sub-Zero Blessings

For years we have prayed over everything in the house, and it has really paid off; every single thing in the house has lasted much longer than usual. Including the oil-burning furnace.
Mid-January 2009: the Northeast experienced record-breaking sub-zero temperatures.
The sub-station iced over and power went out in our area last Thursday night.
I could feel the chill creeping into my bones as the thermometer plunged lower and lower.
I remember thinking helplessly of the nice new generator in our cellar.
Couldn't afford to hire someone to install it, so it sat there.
Next morning when the power finally came back on (God bless those NYSEG workers who came on duty at 2:00 a.m. !) I hurried downstairs to the cellar, plugged in a radiating heater to keep the pipes from freezing, and pushed the reset button on the oil burner which supplies our heat and hot water.
Nothing happened.
I prayed, checked the water levels in the feeder, tightened the hoses and tried again.
Again, nothing.
I called the plumber, left a message, plugged in some electric heaters and waved my two remaining teenagers off to school.
I worked at home Friday morning, so I went in my tiny office which has an electric baseboard heater and tried to work, waiting for the plumber to call back.
By the time the kids came home from school, he still hadn't called and the house was literally freezing as the temp dropped down to minus 11. Thick ice piled up on the windows, inside.
I called friends who were supposed to come to dinner & told them we would have to cancel.
They insisted on inviting us over for the weekend, so we packed and left for their cozy home, half an hour away.
I spent much of the weekend calling plumbers. Quite a few people were without heat we found out, when I finally reached our plumber Monday afternoon. "I can maybe get to you the end of next week," was his curt response, and he abruptly hung up.
Meanwhile we had been snowed in at our friends house all weekend; we even missed Sunday Mass. We did have a lovely visit with them, and their six wonderfully charming kids.
When we came back home Monday morning, I pulled into the neighbor's drive so we could dig out our own driveway. Larry came over to help; we do have such nice next-door neighbors!
The new plumber never came; when we finally reached him that night, he apologized and promised to get to us the next day.
He did finally arrive Wednesday afternoon, only to inform me that the oil-burner was shot, and a new one would cost about $5,000.
I couldn't help it; I started crying. I was so tired of working all the time and being really, really cold. I felt like I couldn't think straight, and I was moving in slow motion. Everything I did seemed to take forever. We were constantly boiling water for cooking and baths and everything we touched was very cold. I didn't bother to take off my coat, knit gloves and snow boots when I came into the house, just wore them until it was time for bed.
Six days later we're still cold, but the kids are tired of staying at other people's houses and said they'll just tough it out here with me. My friends suggested getting an electric hot water heater and baseboard heaters. Actually, what David said was "I'm going to buy them and you can pay me back whenever." The new plumber is going to try and patch up the old oil-burner to keep it going, maybe tomorrow he'll come back with some used parts. My tax refund should come in next month, so I might be able to buy a coal stove also. In the meantime, we're just counting our blessings:
Friends are offering to bring us wood, since we burned up all we had. People are praying for us, even the plumber. We have electricity, and (cold) running water, the pipes haven't frozen, the kids are just plain being wonderfully understanding and patient and kind to each other.
Praise God.

Communion

Maggie has been receiving so many honors at school in the past few years. I'm glad she's in a good Catholic university that recognizes how amazing she is. But now, as a senior, she's looking at the real world. The wonderful thing about Maggie is, she's looking at it as a "care-taker," that is, someone who genuinely wants to help others. She's talking about doing a year of service. And then?

I told her she should consider running the United Nations. Maggie's greatest talent has always been helping others to get along. In elementary school they called her "the peacemaker."

I just have wonderful kids!

Lost in Time

Whew. Started a new job on January 14th, and life went into overdrive.
I like the job very much, but as a single mom with five children, my life was already full.
Only the reality of needing to pay bills kept me looking for something that would be satisfying and offer a regular paycheck.
BUT I just lost four months. Four whole months with practically no writing time.
I'm determined to put that back in my schedule,
with a shoehorn if necessary....
I can breathe better, when I write.
My relationship with Jesus Christ is infinitely better, when I am writing.
And then, I remember who I am, whose I am.
His.

Above, is an old picture, from years ago. Elizabeth and Maggie used to put on their pink snowsuits and crawl around under the big fir trees in front of the house, pretending they were explorers. The trees have been home to families of cardinals and bluejays for more than twenty years; they would fly off, squawking, when the girls began to play there. If you look closely, you can see Elizabeth under the left one...

Christmas is over, everything put away til next year, with a few goodies bought at one of those after-Christmas sales, tucked in the boxes as a surprise for whichever one of the kids brings them down next Advent...

When I brought Joe back to his school after vacation, all the kids gathered round. The ones who could speak shouted, "Joe's back!" and they all wanted to hug him. Joe just sat there, grinning at them. They are the sweetest bunch of guys. No wonder he likes it there.

Just started a new job. I'd been working part-time in advocacy and looking everywhere for a good, full-time position with benefits, paid holidays, time to be with my children. Praise God, I found one, working with families of children with special needs, again, but much better pay, and guaranteed full-time, with lots of potential for advancement. Nice people, too. I wake up every morning and just give praise for all His goodness.

Why, then, do I feel so empty? Joe took up so much of my time, I had no time for a social life. Now, I suppose it's too late for that. Never mind; I have my children, a good job, time to write and pray. That will have to do.

I am truly grateful for all I have. Why do I still want more?

Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for?
My children, first, and always.
Coming home.
A hug from one of my teenagers when I come in the door.
That sudden realization that "right now," is precious and unrepeatable.
Ordinary moments.
Close friends.
Hands joined in prayer.
Voices joined in song.
Laughter, and tears.
Watching my kids perform in the high school play.
A smile from our choir director when we get it right.
My younger son, waving at me from the big front window.
An email from someone who knew me when.
Words of comfort, from the Lord.
My family.
Hope.

He Likes It!

Phew. Lucey and I took Joe up to his new school. There are eight of these ten-bedroom ranch houses around a central school building, all on one campus. His "house" is right next to a big playground. The other boys in his house are very sweet. When Lucey and I came in, one of them shouted "There's a GIRL in here!" very excited to see Lucey. We got Joe settled and said a quick goodbye. Joe seemed fine. Two days later, I went back to visit, bringing Joe's two older sisters up from the city. One of the boys (only a few of them are verbal) called out, "Joe, how many sisters do you have?" Elizabeth and Maggie charmed all the boys, as Lucey had. Joe seemed very happy, hanging out with the guys in his house. His case manager says they love having him in the school. He seems to fit in very well; he's wearing underwear and taking showers, two things I could never get him to do. Is it that easy? Wow. They're giving him some time to get used to things; in two weeks we'll have his first IEP meeting, to establish his goals. They've already met two of mine. He likes it! Yeah, Joe!
But I miss him. My hands miss signing things to him. I find myself signing the "Our Father," to no one, and reaching for his hands to help him with things.
I keep telling myself, if he's happy, I'm happy.
When I first moved into this house 21 years ago, I had 1.5 children, with three-year-old Elizabeth, and Maggie due in a few months. By 1993, when Joe and Lucey were born, the house was full to overflowing, especially when their friends came over. Now, we're down to two children again, and the house feels too empty.
But he likes it! Joe's adjusting, and so will we.
God is so good.

Letting Go

We have just two weeks left until Joe goes off to school. I've spoken to other parents who have sent their children away; one mom had to send her child to residential when he was only five years old. And he was her only child. Unimaginable.
As a community advocate I spend my days helping other people solve their problems. I wish I had a better solution to Joe's needs. Tony at Devereaux School says the children do adjust to their new home, but I remember one young man who came up to him while he was showing me around the campus, saying "Tony, when can I go home?"
It just broke my heart. My son, being non-verbal, can't even ask.